Mission Rejected

Bonus Scene: Mission Voice Meltdown

Episode Summary

It's hard being the mission voice. Ponderous. Freaking ponderous.

Episode Notes

It's hard being the mission voice. Ponderous. Freaking ponderous.

THANK YOU for getting us over 10,000 downloads! As a way of saying thanks, we're putting out this bonus audio, usually reserved for our Patreon supporters. You can hear an additional bonus audio with every new episode, along with mission dossiers, behind-the-scenes access and more when you become a supporter. Join us at www.patreon.com/missionrejected

Written by Pete Barry. Directed by Pete Barry & J. Michael DeAngelis. Starring Kevin McGrath as The Mission Voice.

Episode Transcription

MISSION VOICE
Good afternoon, Agent Philips. The Chinese agricorp Xeanco has set up an illicit tax haven through Mrs. Caroline Buckley of England. We know of a remote farm in Lincolnshire, where Mrs. Buckley lives. In July peas grow there - (to someone off mic) Do you really mean that? There’s no known way of starting a sentence with “in” and emphasizing it. Impossible. Meaningless. This is very wearying and unpleasant to read. Let’s just... (reading) In July peas grow there, but this year, Mrs. Buckley’s little dog
Snuggles passed away - let’s just start again. Please.

(shuffles papers)

What? What is it you want, in the depths of your ignorance?

(shuffles papers)

See when you try to come out of those agricorp factoids, it’s hard to make those transitions into somebody dying. I don’t know what the hell they do it for, but goddammit if they do it - is Don on the phone? (beat) OK, I want a concerted effort for copy that doesn’t come out of a goddamned Chinese agricorp into somebody’s goddamned dog dying!

And - I also wanna know what happened to the pictures I was supposed to see this week! This is the last goddamned time, I want somebody to use his brain, come out of a goddamn agricorp crime, and I gotta talk about a dog dying!

You are such pests.

This is ponderous, man. F---ing ponderous.